Shaking the bottle of depression

Why am I so hard to be contained? Why am I fluctuating between my thoughts?

The very generous me in the morning doesn’t assure you a very generous me in the evening. But that doesn’t mean I am hating you..! It’s the status quo of my mind, which I am not responsible..!

I wonder at times that from where the hell is these mood swings arriving?

I love the world at times and admire it’s endless beauty. But at times I hate it like severe itching all around my body.

Why am I obsessed with myself?

I understand that someone is wanting me to do this or do that because they love me. But instead, why am i getting a feeling like someone is trying to bottle me!?

I love this world. I love to be happy. But why love feels like suffocating even when I am quite sure that nobody is hating me? In Fact they are loving me.

Love is painful. Life is instructing me to follow some guidelines. Yeah ! It’s right for me, I know! But why is to follow these guidelines so suffocating?

A life which flew like a uncontrolled flying object losing its master for so long, wandering through places which it randomly choose to be at, embracing the curses and boons during the journey, don’t knowing it’s good or bad or whatever dimension it has, without any prior guidelines set, without possessing the wisdom of knowing godliness, compassion and back stabbing, enthralled by sickness, madness, painfulness, happiness; welcoming them as a whole and letting it pierce or thread my life in their own wish!

For a life which is complicated enough like a programming code, for a life which is so clear as a freshwater lake, I think being loved is so painful…..!!

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